Welcome to Karen’s Killer Book Bench where, every Wednesday, readers can discover talented new authors and take a peek inside their wonderful books. This is not an age-filtered site so all book peeks are PG-13 or better. Come back and visit often. Happy reading!
HOW WICKED CAN SHE GO? by J. MORGAN
Put down that sorry excuse for a wand!
We are not some sorry excuse for wizards, or whatever you call those fellow females of our species in denial about what they truly are. We’re witches for Morloque’s sake. As the duly appointed head honcho for this section of the country, it’s time I laid down the law on a certain burr up my broom’s handle. In case you’ve forgotten who that is, just check the name on the bottom of that paycheck that you’re about to find cancelled before you get a chance to rush through the drive-through to cash. I’m pretty sure it’ll read Melina. If not, listen up anyway.
It has come to my attention that a certain perky witch has written an expose. It boggles my mind that someone would actually publish that piece of literary garbage but mortals will print anything if the words ‘Paranormal’ and ‘Romance’ are on the cover.
This — hate to even use the word, but here it is — literary masterpiece is bad for all our images. Bad enough when Bahm snuck his books past us. Now, we’re living under the bane of everyone thinking we’re green and melt when doused with a pail of water. I for one am tired of coming back dripping wet from a trip to the grocery store. If this book is allowed to slip into public knowledge, I dread to think what the mortal world will think of us. After forcing myself to read the thing, I know for a fact what they’ll think. That we’re all sex starved nymphomaniacs. Trust me, I am no nymphomaniac. I don’t even allow my Mitch of a husband that sort of attention on his birthday. He’ll have to settle for wool socks like he deserves.
The point is this… If you see this book, destroy it and anyone poking their noses past the cover. I know that might sound harsh, but we’re witches. And, that is the positive public image I want to project. We’re tough. We’re mean. Don’t screw with us or we’ll turn you into something not even a frog would kiss.
And, under no circumstances are you to read the book, ‘How Wicked Can She Go?’!
On a side note, if you see J. Morgan, fry his little butt too. Consider this lurid biographer of a highly suspect nature Public Witch Enemy #1. I want him squatting on the nearest lily pad on sight.
Now, go forth and be Wicked!
This has been a public service announcement from Melina, Vesperex of the Southern League of Witches, and basically, someone you really don’t want to screw with. I don’t approve of the following excerpt either, so I expect you to avert your eyes before they belong to a newt.
How Wicked Can She Go?
The Love Bites Edition
Desert Breeze Publishing
Nikki was the perkiest witch alive. Just ask her mirror. When her boss lays down the law perky just won’t cut it. With one last shot at proving she can be wicked, Nikki finds herself in more trouble than she bargained for. Gregory Hamilton walks through her door and wicked just isn’t in the cards. Making him forget all about true love might be harder than it looks. Especially, when she falls hat over tails for him. Now, she’s got to make him realize that she’s the witchy woman he’s been dreaming of, while keeping her boss off her back long enough to figure a way out of this mess. Whew! Oh and by the way, there’s a dragon living in her kitchen sink. Yeah, things just couldn’t get any weirder. For her sake of her perky heart, she hopes they will get Wickeder.
HOW WICKED CAN SHE GO? by J. MORGAN
I was a witch. Witches didn’t go mushy in the head over men, especially human ones. You didn’t see my mom mooning over my dad while he puttered around on the golf course. No, she went about her business making people miserable, until he got home so she could focus solely on doing it to him. Why couldn’t I be like that?
Because at the end of the day, Gregory wasn’t coming home to you. You silly witch.
I’m not silly.
Yes you are. I should know.
You be quiet. I’ve got the situation well in hand. Thank you very much.
Sure you do. That’s why you’re talking to yourself instead of admitting the truth that you…
I told you to shut up! How can I concentrate on my breakdown if you’re going to act like my mother?
That’s it. I don’t have to take this abuse from you. I’ll be in your temporal-lobe until you come to your senses and apologize.
About damn time. Now where was I? Oh yes. Gregory was going home to that blonde hussy with the butt implants and pushed up titties. And, why was he going to do that? Because, I whammied the charm!
That really bites! The first real piece of magic I managed, and it sent the guy I lust over into the arms of another woman. Hold it a minute! What if I don’t lust him? Could she be right? You know, little voices tended to know things. Not to mention what Savannah said, and well, when you get down to it, Maddy said the same thing, but I’d been too me to listen. Here’s the leap. If they were all right, this all could be a symptom of a more disastrous and potentially life-changing disease. I could — gasp — be in the other L word.
My head swiveled, in case someone might have overheard my thoughts. Nope, not even the Neverland seeped enough to eavesdrop today. Could I be in love with him? According to Nazareth, Love Hurts, and I definitely felt some major discomfort at the prospect.
Maybe I needed a cat. Witches loved cats. I’d never owned one personally. Excuse me. I have never been owned by one. I was in no way stupid enough to think cats were owned by anyone.
The above anyone was a slip of the tongue if a cat should be happening to read this.
From Desert Breeze Publishing
Surviving a long bout with sanity, J. Morgan found a muse willing to work cheap and began work on his first book. Since then, his imagination has been seen running wild on several occasions. Luckily, the straight jackets have been limited to his time away from the computer. When not writing, ‘Jmo’ can be found in front of the TV pretending to write while really watching endless hours of drivel and laughing at the voices in his head who are constantly feeding him plot lines. While the voices may not be in total control just yet, one day they hope to have a book deal of their own. Until then, J. Morgan will continue to get to spend the royalty checks.
J. Morgan is currently procrastinating on books for two publishers but his current books, those his muse aren’t holding out on, came be found at these fine publishers; Champagne Books, Desert Breeze Publishing, and of course Amazon.
Links to J’s website, blog, books, etc.
Where in the net can you find J. Morgan?
My Yahoo Newsletter
My Blog away from home
To sample some of my books, you can find me at either of these fine places on the internet.
Desert Breeze Publishing
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: J. will give away one copy of his novel, HOW WICKED CAN SHE GO?, to one of his lucky readers who comments on his Monday Interview or Wednesday Book Bench blogs!! Don’t miss this chance to read this book!! Thanks, J., for sharing your stories with us!